Posts Tagged ‘family’

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Christmas – A Few of My Favorite Things

Tuesday, December 13th, 2011

The hustle and bustle of the holidays can create a feeling of anxiety and despair. At times we forget the purpose of the holiday. What does Christmas mean to you?
Here is a list of my top 10 favorite things about Christmas!
1. Christmas, first and foremost, celebrates the birth of baby Jesus!

2. It is about spending time with FAMILY and friends. I love playing Christmas music, lots and lots of Christmas music.

3. It's about counting your blessings and being grateful for what you have!

4. It's about loading the kids in the car and getting the perfect tree and decorating it together.

5. It is a day of laughter and fun. There is a peacefulness to the season.

6. It is a time to forgive. Say a prayer for those who have been unkind to you, (whether they realize it or not). Maybe they need it!

7. It is a day about giving, not receiving! (But, I would really like to get that zebra print chair at Pier One.) Santa, I have been really good this year!

8. It is the season where everyone is a little nicer and kinder. "Peace on earth and good will toward men!" Yes, that about says it all!

9. I love seeing the look on my kids face as they open their presents! Priceless!

10. I love listening to them when they first wake up Christmas morning. They run down the hall and wake each other up! They run down the stairs to make sure Santa arrived and then run up the stairs to wake my husband and me. We are already awake, but never let them know! If only I could bottle that excitement. I replay the morning over and over in my mind, understanding that someday my children will be living away, perhaps at college or married. I understand that each and every moment counts and the beauty of my family is an awesome thing to behold!

Merry Christmas Everyone and a Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year!

Thursday, January 6th, 2011

The presents have been given out, the visits have all been made, and thankfully the holidays are finally over. In the northern hemisphere, daylight hours start getting longer after the Winter Solstice, December 21. The start of winter begins with the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, when the sun is at its most southern point in the sky. From then on, the days start getting longer. The solstice occurred on December 21, at 6:38 P.M. EST. I breathe a sigh of relief when this day arrives, because I know that spring is just around the corner.

I had a lovely Christmas and New Year with my family, but I must say, I love Thanksgiving and Easter much more! I truly love Thanksgiving because it is a day to reflect and be thankful for all the blessings that have been bestowed upon you. Easter is my all time, ultimate favorite. Why? Well, first and foremost, I love chocolate! White chocolate to be exact. We have this chocolate store in Gloucester, MA called, Nichols Candies and it sells the best chocolates ever. I try to stay away in order to decrease my caloric intake, but God knows, it is difficult. Each time I visit, they say, "Would you like this gift wrapped?" I reply, "No, I am going to eat it in the car!" Anyway, back to my holiday epiphany. In addition to chocolates at Easter, I love spring time. The flowers are starting to bud, the birds are chirping and it is getting warmer in New England. Most importantly, I am a Catholic and it is the most important holiday that we celebrate throughout the year.

I had the Thanksgiving Feast at my house this year. I had 20 or so family members which included my Aunt and Uncle, my younger cousins, my sister and her daughter, my parents and my three kids and hubby. My sister and I both shared in the cooking, and I must say, it was utterly delicious. "Like really", she and I are getting really, really good. There isn't any stress about this day, because we have it going on. The table was set beautifully, the fireplace was blazing, the shades were drawn to darken the room and create a certain ambience with the candles shimmering against the lovely floral arrangement, beautiful linens and the china and silverware perfectly placed. Our meal was buffet style and when everyone was finally seated I looked around the table. Everyone was smiling, they were chatting with each other and there was a certain joy that we were all together despite our hectic lives. My mom has Alzheimer's, but despite her ailment, sat there and enjoyed her meal. My dad looked very relaxed, he is the primary caregiver of my mom, and if you know someone with Alzheimer's this can be a very trying 24/7 job. He copes the best that he can. There are days where he wants to throw in the towel, but he doesn't. He has been with her for 60 years and he somehow finds the strength to continue. As I looked around the table, I was trying to think of something meaningful to say during my toast or blessing. I was reveling in the fact that everyone was having a wonderful time and the crosses that we all seem to bear were forgotten for that one afternoon. That despite all of our lives being so chaotic and stressful, for that day, it just didn't matter. I then in a loud voice said to my guests, "I would like to make a toast!" The table got quiet and all eyes were gazing at me. I slowly stood up, to get some extra time to gather my thoughts and say something prophetic. "I would like to say, that I am so very happy that all of you are here today. It means a lot to see you sitting here in front of me enjoying yourselves. That alone gives my heart so much joy. But, as I sit here, I have come to the conclusion that it really doesn't matter that the food is amazing, that the table looks beautiful, or that the linens are ironed to perfection. All that matters in this world, is that I am lucky enough to be here today spending this day with you!"

Each face at the table nodded in agreement. They raised their glasses and quickly returned to their delightful turkey dinner, their warm conversations and the happiness they felt that afternoon. In life, I have found, that the little things mean so very much! Happy New Year!

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SHOUT AND CHEER, IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER NEW YEAR! 2011

Monday, December 27th, 2010

Christmas cards have been pouring in wishing a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! It is time to celebrate a new life and a new start! It is a time of reflection on the year past and of looking forward to a new year and imagining what it may bring. New Year is the time to make the changes necessary to lead a more fulfilling life. Start today. Reflect upon the things that you don't like and think of ways that you can change them. It is a time to put the past behind you, and step bravely into the unknown.
In my more youthful days, I had a plan of my life etched in my mind. I would find the right man and get married, buy a house, open my business and see the world. For the most part, I have done what I planned, but it is funny how your outlook on life changes as you get older. I think less about things, but more about myself evolving as a good person (my goal is to get into heaven). I want to do something each day that frightens the heck out of me. I want to challenge myself, I want to help others and raise my children to be independent, successful individuals. I want to bring my company as far as I can and continue to have a blast while doing it.

Unfortunately, most people judge their success (or lack of) by what they see around them. My children are in that realm. They see reality shows that show tremendous wealth, not many scruples, a lack of values and morals, and dysfunction that is seen as normal by today’s standards. I try to teach my children that those shows are not the norm, that there are ways to become successful, but a plan is needed to do so. Two of my children are in high school and they understand that an education is important. They understand that this sets the foundation for their future and that it is important to get good grades.

I believe that most people set benchmarks in their lives - in their careers, personal lives, personal finance, education and also in obtaining real estate. This helps to keep individuals on track and moving towards where you want to be in a certain number of years. As we embark on the New Year, remember it is a clean slate, and a new page on which to write the next chapter of your life. Do you have goals you'd like to accomplish in the coming year? With all the planning we do to be successful, why does success seem so elusive?

You can do it, get a pen and paper and write down 4 or 5 goals for the New Year. This is basically an action plan, so you must write down sub-sections of how you are going to do this.
?
1. Career -_________________________
How are you going to do this? List below the steps needed in order to do this
a.
b.
c.
d.
2. Relationship -__________________________
a.
b.
c.
d.
3. Happiness -____________________________(What is going to make you happy)
a.
b.
c.
d.
4. Financial -_____________________________
a.
b.
c.
d.

Put this on your refrigerator and look at it daily. It is nice to have a visual; it is a constant reminder of how you would like your year to transpire. Don't throw this activity aside, do not procrastinate. It is your life so make the best of it. Plan, plan and if necessary adjust those plans. If you need more money, find a way to get it. Get a second job, or find a hobby that you can create a stream of income from. Find your passion and capitalize on it. Don't whine and tell me it can't be done! It can. My father never graduated from High School and did very well for himself. It takes hard work, persistence and a whole lot of determination. Map out your goals and determine ways to reach them. Once you have determined your destination, its time to evaluate your current position and how you are going to achieve those goals.

Remember to make this New Year special; it is the start of your new life. Start with the traditional kiss at midnight for good luck as part of ringing in the New Year. We kiss those dearest at midnight not only to share a moment of celebration with our favorite people, but to ensure those affections and ties will continue throughout the next 12 months. To fail to kiss our significant other at the stroke of midnight would be to set the stage for a year of coldness. So, put on your favorite lip gloss and pucker up. You wouldn't want to take a chance with fate, now would you? Now if you are single, you must prepare prior to the big event. Position yourself in the room next to the most awesome person that you find attractive. Take a large gulp of courage, (I prefer a White Russian) and get as close to your target as you can, and let the kiss begin.

The Scottish song, Auld Lang Syne was first written in the 1700's. Robert Burns is the person whose transcription got the most attention, so that is why the song is associated with him. The translation of the words is "we'll drink a cup of kindness yet for times gone by." Yes, let go of the past, and bring forth a new year filled with hope and promise.

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

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It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Thursday, December 9th, 2010

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year! Andy Williams happily sings this beloved Holiday classic. Yes, it can be a wonderful time, but why are so many finding themselves feeling overwhelmed, stressed and anxious about too many holiday parties, gift buying, cooking, cleaning, decorating, wrapping, and spending time with family members? And there are just a few of the demands that you may be experiencing this holiday season.

Children are preparing their lists and checking them twice. Because of the economy, many parents are feeling guilty because they can't fulfill the wishes contained in their children's elaborate lists. One might ask if this is a bad thing or a good thing.

Take a deep breath and stop the madness! Keep in mind, the true meaning of the holidays - they are about spending time with family and friends. It doesn't have to break the bank, it doesn't have to be perfect, it just needs to be fun and meaningful. What do I mean by meaningful? Well, here are some tips to make this holiday more joyful and bring more meaning to the season for you and yours.

1. In order to have a memorable holiday season, we need to make time to have some peaceful moments with family. My family is going to New Hampshire and going on a sleigh ride. We will visit with Santa and delve into the beauty of the snow, the mountains and scenery around us.

2. We usually have family night on Friday. We order Mexican food and sit and chat with each other. This doesn't require a lot of money, but a way to reconnect at the end of a busy week full of cheering, basketball games, school, and engagements that we must attend.

3. Shop early and online. I started early this year. By the end of November my shopping was in full swing (although I know there are some lucky people who were actually done by the end of November!). I went on-line nightly until I got it done. I went to dollar stores for gift bags, wrapping paper and bows. I tried to save money wherever I could.

4. Honor family traditions like baking cookies, special dinners, buying a tree, hanging the Christmas lights, or helping grandma with her famous punch. Whatever it is, continue it. Traditions celebrate family uniqueness and allow each member a chance to embrace it. They bond generations and help us to teach our children about where they came from. Passing on these traditions connects past generations to future generations.

5. Watch old Christmas movies together. We have It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle of 34th Street, and the Bells of St. Mary. They all have a special message that should be shared with the entire family.

6. Learn to say “No”. Cut back on all the activities. Your family needs down time to regroup. They need a Saturday morning to sleep in, or an evening to just kick back. During the holidays, take time to be thankful and think about the New Year that is just around the corner.

7. Bid farewell to 2010! Look forward to 2011 with hope and anticipation. It is a time to reflect on the changes we want or need to make and follow through with those changes in the up-coming year.

8. Resolve to enjoy life more! Create a happier, healthier you!

9. Remember toddlers/preschoolers don't require a lot of presents to make them happy. Just a few quality presents will do.

10. For older children, limit the dollar amount and number of gifts.

Most importantly, the holidays are about giving! It is about your family giving of themselves, giving of their time, giving of their love. This shouldn't be just during the holidays, but all year long. Teach your family to give their time. The benefits are something your children will remember forever. Doing a chore for an elderly neighbor, buying a gift for a needy child, or volunteering their time at a local agency that helps people in need can make them feel fantastic about themselves and give someone in need that message that someone cares about them. Make an effort to include elderly family members in your festivities.

Ring in the New Year on a positive note. Look forward to the promise it will bring! Celebrate life and
the people around you! You will only know their true worth and how much you really love them when they are gone. Say, I love you as much as you can. Sometimes, a kind word can change a person’s entire day. Small acts of kindness are always appreciated. Don't underestimate their value.
Remember, life is what you make it, so make it a really good one. My best piece of advice is to eat chocolate daily! It calms the psyche, rejuvenates the soul and it tastes so good! Happy New Year!

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RAISING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CHILDREN

Monday, December 6th, 2010

There isn't a parenting book to answer all the questions parents have about raising children. I wish there were. I would have bought it. What happens in the home during the developmental years is of vital importance. Why is it so hard to raise kids that are mentally and emotionally stable? Life moves at warp speed, so does the time that we spend with our children. One reason may be that some children doubt our love for them. It is important to tell your child each and every day that you love them. Make that a priority in your daily routine! You can never say I love you too much!

Address any problems that arise with your children. Do not judge your child, but come up with a solution to resolve any issue they may have. Shielding your child from the dangers of the world is the biggest mistake you can make as a parent. Emotionally healthy children grow up knowing the world is flawed and they will have struggles to overcome. Give your child small tastes of the real world. Listen to your children so that you can help them grow up to be emotionally healthy children that can handle the world.

Many things change during different childhood stages. Providing positive Discipline Structure Rules that are made to help organize their lives, establish stability, promote safety and increase performance will help produce healthy emotional development in children. Children need to have a clear understanding of what is expected of them and the benefits these rules provide. It is important to use praise. Provide positive rewards for positive actions.

Parenting is a learn as you go undertaking. Remember, parents and children are not peers. Never treat your child as your friend. There must be boundaries between a parent and child. These boundaries cannot be crossed. If you don’t set these boundaries, then you will find yourself with a child who will not respect you or your wishes.

Love them and support them, even if their dreams for themselves don’t exactly match your dreams for them. If they don't want to play sports and prefer the violin, then respect their request and encourage their decision. Do not raise your kids to live out your dreams. They are different than you and have different goals, hobbies, likes and dislikes. Understanding this can save a lot of frustration and disappointment for both of you.

Make your child's environment physically and emotionally safe. Learn who your child is and do all you can to help that unique child be the person that they were born to be. Allow your child to experience their feelings and perceptions and create situations in which your child can develop a sense of competency and mastery over different things.

Meeting the emotional needs of children provides the foundation for success in school, work, relationships, marriage and life in general. In order for children to be emotionally healthy, they need to feel:
• respected
• important
• accepted
• included
• secure

Let your child learn to play independently. If they prefer to be next to you all the time, gently ease away from them daily. Try to move to another room. They need to feel confident with themselves and learn to soothe themselves by being alone for 10 minutes. They need to acquire independence from you. Also, if they are playing with friends and they start to quarrel, do not immediately jump in to fix the situation. Let your child try to handle this on his or her own. They must learn to deal with situations by themselves. If your child ends up in tears kindly help by offering suggestions. You could say, "Why don't you let Jake play with the car first, and after 5 minutes you can play with it. Here, let me put on the timer." They will become more confident, happy, independent children. And in the process, you as a parent will have your own needs satisfied too.

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